Freedom of the press. I think this amendment is taken far too literally, even more so than any other amendment. The news can say anything they want about anybody as long as they say that one magic word: "Allegedly". Or that other phrase: "According to so and so...", which basically means, "Hey, we're not saying it, we're just repeating what they said."
They shouldn't be allowed to give a person's name or show his picture unless he is actually found guilty. Once a person is publicly accused of something, it sticks, whether they are found guilty or not. If they are found not guilty, they just got away with it. This kind of reporting can and does ruin lives.
Accusations involving murder, rape, and anything to do with kids will make you a social pariah regardless of the outcome at trial. Especially the third one. The first two will usually split the vote on whether or not you did it. But kids? Unless they were in police custody at the time it happened, on video tape, holding that days newspaper, that son of a bitch did it!
But the biggies aside, my newspaper runs about five pages of mugshots, complete with name and where it happened, from time to time full of men who are ACCUSED of soliciting prostitutes.
Now imagine you're out late one night trying to find an Olive Garden to surprise your wife with a delicious salad. Finally out of sheer frustration you go against your male instincts and decide to ask for directions from that sweet looking girl standing on the corner that looks a little too old to be wearing a catholic school uniform, but hey, maybe she's just a little slow. You pull up next to her and yell out "Hey, do you know anywhere I can get a tossed salad?" She smiles, pulls out her badge, and now you're locked up, face in the newspaper, joke of the neighborhood, and probably getting a divorce because you were to cheap to spring for a navigation system. Does the word allegedly next to "soliciting prostitution" under your mugshot give you any comfort? I didn't think so.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Commercial Appeal
Can anybody help me figure out what the hell's up with that toilet paper commercial with the bears? Apparently this toilet paper is soooo good that it doesn't rip apart and get stuck to your ass when you wipe. What I wanna know is, who the hell has this problem? I think that if you do have this problem, what you really need is a shower, not "special toilet paper".
Is this for those special kids who eat the paste in school all day long, then come home and take huge adhesive dumps? And on the commercial itself, who at Charmin (or whoever makes this super strong non ass binding toilet paper) thought it would be cute to show a bear emerging from behind a tree after taking an implied dump with little pieces of toilet paper stuck to his ass and have another bear run up behind him to help get it off. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
But what really pisses me off is that Aspercream had to change their jingle from "You bet your sweet ASS-percream!" to "You bet if its Aspercream". They deny us this comic gold (I giggled like a 1st grader after somebody farted every time I saw this commercial), yet bears crapping in the woods doesn't seem to raise an eyebrow. WTF?
My new favorite commercial is the one with the home pregnancy test that's billed as "The most technologically advanced thing you will ever pee on."
While this may be true of most people, I must take exception. Once, in a drunken stupor, my uncle awoke and somehow mistook my parents' living room for the bathroom, and pissed all over the cable box which was on top of the T.V. Yes, we had to get another cable box. (Try explaining that one to the cable guy!)
I am sure a cable box is infinitely more technologically advanced than any home pregnancy test.
I know, I know, my uncle would have no reason to piss on a home pregnancy test (not that he had one to piss on the cable box) and that they were speaking to women who would have to show an amazing amount of balance while being totally wasted to be able to get up on top of a T.V. set, squat down, and piss all over a cable box.
But still, they didn't qualify who they were talking to, so I stand by my argument.
Makes me laugh every time though.
Is this for those special kids who eat the paste in school all day long, then come home and take huge adhesive dumps? And on the commercial itself, who at Charmin (or whoever makes this super strong non ass binding toilet paper) thought it would be cute to show a bear emerging from behind a tree after taking an implied dump with little pieces of toilet paper stuck to his ass and have another bear run up behind him to help get it off. I just threw up a little in my mouth.
But what really pisses me off is that Aspercream had to change their jingle from "You bet your sweet ASS-percream!" to "You bet if its Aspercream". They deny us this comic gold (I giggled like a 1st grader after somebody farted every time I saw this commercial), yet bears crapping in the woods doesn't seem to raise an eyebrow. WTF?
My new favorite commercial is the one with the home pregnancy test that's billed as "The most technologically advanced thing you will ever pee on."
While this may be true of most people, I must take exception. Once, in a drunken stupor, my uncle awoke and somehow mistook my parents' living room for the bathroom, and pissed all over the cable box which was on top of the T.V. Yes, we had to get another cable box. (Try explaining that one to the cable guy!)
I am sure a cable box is infinitely more technologically advanced than any home pregnancy test.
I know, I know, my uncle would have no reason to piss on a home pregnancy test (not that he had one to piss on the cable box) and that they were speaking to women who would have to show an amazing amount of balance while being totally wasted to be able to get up on top of a T.V. set, squat down, and piss all over a cable box.
But still, they didn't qualify who they were talking to, so I stand by my argument.
Makes me laugh every time though.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Don't call them Pro-life!
I'm really getting annoyed with the term "Pro-life". The Anti-choicers use this term to try to make it sound like the other side is pro-abortion. I am both pro-choice and pro-life. And I'm sure that nobody is pro-abortion. I have never seen commercials, pamphlets, people knocking on my door at dinner time dressed in their best suits and dresses, or even so much as a newspaper ad trying to talk women into getting abortions. I have never heard of any maternity wards getting bombed or of any death threats against obstetricians. They are, as their name suggests, Pro-choice.
Now I understand that its their little fanatical club, and they can call themselves whatever they want. But when other people refer to them as pro-life, including even pro-choicers and all media and politicians and the like, it serves nothing but to play into the notion that pro-choicers are unrepentant baby killers who think everybody should get an abortion.
The reason they don't call themselves anti-choice is that people will make the connection that, hey these guys are trying to take away our right to choose, and those people aren't. Choice is good right? They would go from "saving lives" to infringing on people's rights. I gotta hand it to them though, its a brilliant PR device.
But like I said, they have the right to choose any name they want, but we also have the right to choose not to dignify their misleading name by using it. Call them anti-choice like they are.
Now I understand that its their little fanatical club, and they can call themselves whatever they want. But when other people refer to them as pro-life, including even pro-choicers and all media and politicians and the like, it serves nothing but to play into the notion that pro-choicers are unrepentant baby killers who think everybody should get an abortion.
The reason they don't call themselves anti-choice is that people will make the connection that, hey these guys are trying to take away our right to choose, and those people aren't. Choice is good right? They would go from "saving lives" to infringing on people's rights. I gotta hand it to them though, its a brilliant PR device.
But like I said, they have the right to choose any name they want, but we also have the right to choose not to dignify their misleading name by using it. Call them anti-choice like they are.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
It ain't your money!
I'm getting sick and tired of people bitching about the government using "our money" to bail out these moron companies. It isn't our money, the government already took it off us, its the government's money now. I liken it to getting mugged in the alley for half your paycheck, you don't like it, but do you really care what the scumbag spends the money on? He can spend it on crack and whores or give it to The Salvation Army for all I care, either way, I know I'm not getting it back.
But, the people say, they're supposed to use that money to benefit the country, they're supposed to help us with that money. What I get from that argument is that they wouldn't have given the government the money if they knew what it was gonna do with it. Ummm, yes they would have, or they would've been sitting in a jail cell somewhere complaining about the sugar free Kool-Aid.
I think it may help if these people looked at taxes not as a worthwhile contribution to a worthy cause, but as the mandatory fee for the privilege of living here that it is.
So bitch about paying taxes all you want, I know I do, but don't come to me bitching about what they spend it on, because it ain't none of my business.
But, the people say, they're supposed to use that money to benefit the country, they're supposed to help us with that money. What I get from that argument is that they wouldn't have given the government the money if they knew what it was gonna do with it. Ummm, yes they would have, or they would've been sitting in a jail cell somewhere complaining about the sugar free Kool-Aid.
I think it may help if these people looked at taxes not as a worthwhile contribution to a worthy cause, but as the mandatory fee for the privilege of living here that it is.
So bitch about paying taxes all you want, I know I do, but don't come to me bitching about what they spend it on, because it ain't none of my business.
Did anyone bother to ask the cats?
Every year millions of cats are put to sleep to save them from a life of wandering the streets scrounging for food. I can tell you one thing, I'd rather be homeless than dead, and I'm sure that if you could ask the cats, they'd agree.
I gotta say that every cat I've ever seen running the streets seemed pretty happy to me. Hell, I gotta slide out the door sideways to keep my cats from getting out.
I can't understand how a society that argues that its the humane thing to do to kill a perfectly healthy cat can't afford the same courtesy to a terminally ill human. By that reasoning we'd be doing homeless people a favor if we declared open season on them. But although a cat deserves a good home and steady meal just as any human, a sick human doesn't have all the rights of a cat. That would be immoral.
If a cat is born into the wild, lived all its life in the wild, isn't that cat a wild animal? I mean we don't round up all the poor homeless squirrels and slaughter them wholesale. No, we give them nuts. To me a wild cat is nothing more than a giant squirrel that doesn't like nuts. Maybe instead of rounding up homeless cats for slaughter, we should just go to the park and throw sardines around.
I guess the biggest question of all is: How the hell did all these animals survive before we got here?
I gotta say that every cat I've ever seen running the streets seemed pretty happy to me. Hell, I gotta slide out the door sideways to keep my cats from getting out.
I can't understand how a society that argues that its the humane thing to do to kill a perfectly healthy cat can't afford the same courtesy to a terminally ill human. By that reasoning we'd be doing homeless people a favor if we declared open season on them. But although a cat deserves a good home and steady meal just as any human, a sick human doesn't have all the rights of a cat. That would be immoral.
If a cat is born into the wild, lived all its life in the wild, isn't that cat a wild animal? I mean we don't round up all the poor homeless squirrels and slaughter them wholesale. No, we give them nuts. To me a wild cat is nothing more than a giant squirrel that doesn't like nuts. Maybe instead of rounding up homeless cats for slaughter, we should just go to the park and throw sardines around.
I guess the biggest question of all is: How the hell did all these animals survive before we got here?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Why do I watch this crap?
Its my first blog, and I have nothing interesting to say, so I figured I'd point out the flaws in my some of my favorite T.V. shows.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I love this show, I watch it every week, but after the last episode I watched I realized that the show is seeming to take a will they or won't they turn between John Connor and a freakin robot! And I'm sitting there like a little bitch hoping that they realize how much they love each other and run off and raise a litter of ipods together. But in reality that would be the dead fishiest sex you could ever imagine. Then again she could download a program to learn how to fake it, but who knows.
Heroes
Another one of my favorites. X-men without the cool names and flamboyant leotards.
The one thing that stands out most to me on this show is the blatant use of the super happy naive Japanese man on waaaaay too many antidepressants stereotype that is Hiro Nakamura. But he makes me laugh, so what the hell. (And at least he doesn't have a camera.)
House
Who doesn't love that wacky doctor who doesn't give a crap and doesn't give a crap who knows it. Except that anybody who was unfortunate enough to come across a doctor like this in real life would immediately proceed to stick his cane up his ass, hook end first of course, and/or sue for mental duress. Besides the fact that he doesn't seem to be that great to me anyway. He has his employees think of all the theories, run all the tests, and break into the people's houses while they are in the hospital. He then tries everything he and everybody else can think of until he runs out of ideas, gets a self righteous lecture from Wilson for stealing his lunch, and magically figures it out. But somehow it just works.
Boston Legal
Funny. But they could make a more realistic show that would only last 30 seconds. After about the 5th word out of his mouth the judge could find him in contempt of court and send him straight to jail, Roll Credits! They can show it at the commercial break during Lost.
Pushing Daisies
This show looks like it was directed by Tim Burton after 2 1/2 bottles of Prozac and a Paxil chaser. Its Dr. Seuss meets the Walgreens commercials. The fast paced dialogue is reminiscent of the conversations Trixie and Speed Racer used to have. To be honest, I have no idea why I like this show, just one of those things I guess.
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I love this show, I watch it every week, but after the last episode I watched I realized that the show is seeming to take a will they or won't they turn between John Connor and a freakin robot! And I'm sitting there like a little bitch hoping that they realize how much they love each other and run off and raise a litter of ipods together. But in reality that would be the dead fishiest sex you could ever imagine. Then again she could download a program to learn how to fake it, but who knows.
Heroes
Another one of my favorites. X-men without the cool names and flamboyant leotards.
The one thing that stands out most to me on this show is the blatant use of the super happy naive Japanese man on waaaaay too many antidepressants stereotype that is Hiro Nakamura. But he makes me laugh, so what the hell. (And at least he doesn't have a camera.)
House
Who doesn't love that wacky doctor who doesn't give a crap and doesn't give a crap who knows it. Except that anybody who was unfortunate enough to come across a doctor like this in real life would immediately proceed to stick his cane up his ass, hook end first of course, and/or sue for mental duress. Besides the fact that he doesn't seem to be that great to me anyway. He has his employees think of all the theories, run all the tests, and break into the people's houses while they are in the hospital. He then tries everything he and everybody else can think of until he runs out of ideas, gets a self righteous lecture from Wilson for stealing his lunch, and magically figures it out. But somehow it just works.
Boston Legal
Funny. But they could make a more realistic show that would only last 30 seconds. After about the 5th word out of his mouth the judge could find him in contempt of court and send him straight to jail, Roll Credits! They can show it at the commercial break during Lost.
Pushing Daisies
This show looks like it was directed by Tim Burton after 2 1/2 bottles of Prozac and a Paxil chaser. Its Dr. Seuss meets the Walgreens commercials. The fast paced dialogue is reminiscent of the conversations Trixie and Speed Racer used to have. To be honest, I have no idea why I like this show, just one of those things I guess.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
